How to Communicate When Trust Is Low - Without Digging Yourself Into A Deeper Hole (Charity Majors)
(…) When a relationship has very little trust, you tend to interpret everything someone says in the worst possible light, or you may hear hostility, contempt, or dismissiveness where none exists. On the other side of the exchange, the conversation becomes a minefield, where it feels like everything you say gets misinterpreted or turned against you no matter how careful you are trying to be. This can turn into a death spiral of trust where every interaction ends up with each of you hardening against each other a little more and filing away ever more wounds and slights.
Yet you HAVE to communicate in order to work together! You have to be able to ask for things and give feedback.
The way trust gets rebuilt is by ✨small, positive interactions✨. If you’re in a trust hole, you can’t hear them clearly, and they can’t hear you (or your intent) clearly. So you have to bend over backwards to overcommunicate and overcompensate. (…)
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